Stage One

Frustrations, hurt, confusion, doubt, fear, and grieving can often be part of the process as we are letting go of our old habits and even identities. Putting on a yoke of Christ is to let go of selfish ambition. To live by a whole new set of principles and standards is to be very different. Our minds are programmed, wired, and trained in how to live life. We have understandings of how to behave in ways contrary to God. Some such ways can be justified, rationalized, and accepted as a normal way of life. Our minds and bodies will lean and seek to continue in such ways. We can't just wipe away all that understanding, training, and skill. We will need to undergo new learning, training, and practices. We will need to resist our old ways while practicing new ones. This will involve temptation. We ought to guard against decisions motivated by pride, resentment, fear, self-seeking, and deception. If we give attention to fear for direction we may not be following God. We are to trust God more than our own understanding.

Examples where following fear and resentment can be destructive:

Resentment towards others in the group or at the group (we get impatient, prideful, want our way, see the wrongs in others instead of ourselves, we stop seeing how we can grow and focus more on how others are not).

We get tired, want a break from the work and struggle involved, we fear the accountability and vulnerability (distrust), we want to feel good our way, we think about what we want instead of what God wants.

We feel different, perhaps alone, like others don't know us or understand us, we get afraid to share who we are, we resist the process, we convince ourselves it's not for us.

We may feel like a failure, like God won't help us, but we don't stick to the plan and give God's character a chance to develop within us to experience grace. We avoid embracing the opportunity due to our belief of not being able to have one. Our belief of being a failure materializes through our choices to prove it. (Self-fulfilling prophecy)

If any of these examples begin to develop we can prayerfully shift our thoughts to see that we are seeking to maximize our usefulness to God and others. If our thinking begins to sabotage our development with God, we can pray for help and discuss it with a mentor. We all experience such distracting thoughts. To continue with the process involves some self-discipline, courage, and faith.

For more information and ways our choices can be sabotaged see Choice Empowerment

We ought to see problems long enough to find solutions. From that point forward growth can only come from moving toward the solutions. Good will likely be experienced to the degree we give our inward being over to be in it. 

It's easy to discuss problems and such discussions can dominate the time in groups. Everyone ought to agree to focus more upon solutions which usually involves Godly activity. A good question at the end of a group may be, "If anyone is stuck upon finding a solution and desire to have one please see a mentor after the group. Would those how have a plan of action and a solution willing to mentor raise your hand." Then the person can get connected with a mentor.

Spiritual solutions are about spiritual productivity. Increasing love, peace, and truth will involve decreasing fear, resentment, worry, and dishonesty. Such solutions often result in less stress and more comfort within ourselves and about our lives. Our reactions will need to change.

Romans 5:3-5 NKJV And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

"Glory in tribulations knowing that tribulations produce..." As we persevere through tribulations standing firm with God's will and good we can experience grace. It's that feeling of being on the winning team or the end of good work day. Knowing that we are right, following what is right, and doing what is right will help us feel right.

1 John 4:8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. (Experiencing love is far better than merely reading about it. We may begin with learning how to give it.)

Mark 12:24 Jesus answered and said to them, “Are you not therefore mistaken, because you do not know the Scriptures nor the power of God? (We ought to increase our experience of knowing scripture and the power of living out inward righteousness by the spirit)

John 9:31 Now we know that God does not hear sinners; but if anyone is a worshiper of God and does His will, He hears him. (We ought to worship - bow down or humble ourselves to God, and we will need to do God's will)

1 Corinthians 15:34 Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame. (We build righteousness in our minds, attitudes, and actions. As we build righteousness our pursuit of sin decreases. Shame is guilt, the sense within us we are doing evil which is to guide us to do good.)

1 Thessalonians 4:5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; (Chasing after lust is idolatry. God is not lust so if we chase after lust we leave God outside our minds and hearts.)

Over time as I continued to take 2 steps toward God, one step back, 2 steps toward God and so on, I learned through experience as I move toward God, life is better, and as I move away, it gets worse. Experiential knowledge is the best understanding. Once I gained that experience, I knew, I could then foresee how tribulations with perseverance produces Godly character and have glory in that tribulation. It's like getting excited about a promotion. We know that job means more work, but we foresee more income. Yet our reward with God is something far better than money, but we won't understand that until we immerse ourselves with good.

Shared experiences can benefit everyone in the group. The Bible is full of examples of experiences. Our stories ought to move in a similar direction as the characters within the Bible. Witnessing others grow in grace has profound affects upon us all. We can grow with God as we regularly apply our minds, hearts, attitudes, and actions toward Godly good.

Bad experience is also a teacher (bitterness, guilt, fear, etc.). We ought to share the consequences of our poor choices. Someone else may be in the middle of such situations just beginning to learn from their decisions. Yet we ought to also share how we have transformed through better choices and describe our experiences from living out Godly good.

Character change usually is not an over night experience. Though it can happen. There are some scenarios where people have been able to completely give themselves to God. They are living their lives based upon a new understanding of love and peace and are excited about it. This is a very good thing. 

Reality can strike when they slowly realize others around them are not following the same love and peace. (parable of the sower) Such a person may soon realize very few people are living by such rules which can test their faith. We will need to stand firm through time and continue to trust God even though others are not.

God's rewards often come much slower than wanted. In fact, many blessings can come when feeling like the end is near. Perhaps that is when we get humbled. When near the end of the rope people can tend to stop thinking about what they want and instead speak boldly to God for direction, ready to act, because of desperation. Such a contrite and humble state can be a good place to receive grace.

Within groups each person is in their own unique experience of transformation. We ought to understand differences and practice tolerance with love, forgiveness, mercy, and humility.